Things I Regret

  • Tasting a raw jalapeño
  • Buying a cheap bicycle

  • Not buying a bicycle lock
  • Not hugging my grandfather more
  • Having been hugged by my boss
  • Attempting a cheer for the third grade talent show
  • Still remembering my third grade talent show
  • Chlamydia
  • That previous joke about chlamydia
  • Convincing a gay friend that he wasn’t a Republican AFTER he voted
  • Not closing the door in time to keep out the Confederate soldiers
  • That last one may have been a dream
  • “The Libertine”
  • Getting my lip pierced
  • 2006-2007
  • My self-appointed nickname from college
  • Bringing “Schindler’s List” to a 7th grade slumber party
  • Slumber parties
  • Saying “Have a good funeral!” to a coworker as they left to attend a funeral


You know, other than that, I really have lived life to the fullest.




10 thoughts on “Things I Regret”

  1. Like that time I was supposed to meet Mr. T at the mall. “I’ll go a little later,” “I’ll go a little later,” and then when I got there, he was gone. And when I asked the guy if he would ever come back, he said he didn’t know…

    Liked by 1 person

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