The cat and I have been arguing lately over which of us is more neurotic. I tried to take a poll of our loved ones to put an end to it once and for all, but it came out a tie. I voted for the cat and she voted for me. So now it comes down to you and what you think. I will state both of our arguments for you because the cat doesn’t speak English and I know your Spanish is pretty rusty.
In favor of the human:
- I lock doors compulsively to a fault. I even lock my daughter out of the house when she goes to play with her friends. I have locked myself out of friend’s cars while they were still sitting inside. I have locked myself out of my own car while a friend was sitting in the passenger seat on numerous occasions.
- It really bothers me that my shampoo and conditioner might not be equal when I die. I don’t know why. Is someone supposed to use it afterwards? Are they going to return it? They’ll probably just be thrown out. I don’t know what I am expecting to happen to my hair care products after I snuff it, but I want it to happen to them equally.
In favor of the cat:
- She is obsessed with the toilet plunger. I mean, cannot get enough of it. She will knock you over trying to get into the bathroom so that she can get near that thing. If you turn your back for a second, she makes a beeline right for it. She sniffs it, rubs her face on it; she’ll even lick it if she gets the chance. It is disgusting. She can’t explain why she loves it so much, either.
- If there is one thing that terrifies the cat above all else in this world, it is the ceiling fan. Over vacuum cleaners, the guinea pig, and that one really angry squirrel outside that keeps yelling at her when she is on the porch, she hates that ceiling fan. If you are holding her and absentmindedly walk under it, she ducks down and cries out in fear. She has clawed me open before, trying to get away from it. She is in cat regression therapy now, trying to get to the root of the issue.
So, now you have heard the arguments on both sides. You may make your ruling.
No, you can’t tell me I win because the cat is a cat.
Don’t walk away from this.